DAE GOD DOESN'T REAL?

TEH BLOG OF A EUPHORIC ATHEIST WHO IS EUPHORIC BECAUSE OF HIS INTELLIGENCE NOT YO0R PHONEY GODS BLESSING
I R VERY CLEVER. I AM 15 AND I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I WATCHED HALF OF COSMOS AND READ THE GOD DELUSION. MY M0M (UGH) IS A TOTAL FUNDIE (sHE GOES 2 CHURCH AT XMAS AND EASTER! UGH) AND I AM VERY OPPRESEDD BY THIS. IT IS EXACTLY LIEK THE HOL0CAUST (MORE LIKE LOLOCAUST AMIRITE?) MY M0M IS A TOTAL NAZI FOR TRYN TO RAIZE ME WITH HER FUNDIE BELEIFS. I SPENT MOST MY TIME BEING VERY BRAVE ON R/ATHEISM, CORRECTING GRAMMAR AND WEARING A VARIETY OF DIFFERENT FEDORAS.

I SUPP0RT MENS RIGHTS (AND THE RIGHT FOR WOMEN 2GB2 LE KITCHEN AMIRITE?)
Asker hellopic Asks:
Who invented the laws of nature?
euphoricatheist euphoricatheist Said:

Sagan, obviously fundie.

LOGIC’D.

r/atheistmemes is the most euphoric place on earth. 

BRAVTHEIST OF THE WEEK: RCSolstice

This weeks Bravtheist is the wisest man who ever lived, RCSolstice. RCSolstice, is even wiser than Sagan and Dawkins combined into a power ranger megazord of logic and reason. It’s hard to know where to begin with his immense knowledge of everything and his desire to both smash and yet live up to a stereotype. Perhaps it’s best to begin at the start. 

 Theologists have never raised this question ever. Thank God for RcSolstice not understanding what is meant by that statement and bringing it to everyone’s attention. 

RcSolstice was born in a simple manger, outside of a small town in Palestine. Not long after his birth he was visited by three wise men - Carl Sagan, Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens - and they told his parents that he was the chosen one, and they had each brought gifts that would aid him in his journey. From Sagan came the gift of Reason, for fundie smashing. It came in the form of words said by a comedian, on a picture of the comedian. From Dawkins came the gift of logic, of trampling on beautiful stories hundreds of years old because you don’t understand them. The most important gift of all came from Hitchens, who gave him the gift of a fedora. Not much is known about RCSolstice’s early years bar a few isolated stories. The most notable of which tells the tale of when his parents were unable to find him. Searching high and low, they eventually found him in the local temple preaching to local priests. The second he’d finished talking of Russell’s teapot, all of them immediately renounced their religion and became scientists. All of them told his parents - “he is the wisest man who ever lived. Ever. He’s just fantastic. Also, where did he get that wonderful hat?” 

Yeah, Atheism would never do that. Art and beauty is for fundies and idiots. We should trample and eradicate folklore and storytelling in favour of reason and knowledge. 

It was not long after this that RCSolstice was visited by a dream - in it, he was the king of the atheists, the son of Dawkins, sent down by his father to die for the cause. Of course he woke up, and being rational he immediately discarded the dream as little more than mental ephemera generated by the day. In fact, I don’t know why I’ve mentioned it. It was very illogical. 

Apparently this image has been disproved by him so many times, we should have got the message and can only be uploading it to annoy him. It’s almost like no one reads his blog and that no one cares what he thinks. Almost.

RCSolstice realised something not long after the dream. Being pro-choice was the same as being an atheist! It annoyed fundies and it gave him an excuse to randomly engage with strangers who had different views than him and then complain that they were annoying him. Even thought it was him that engaged them.

Unable to see any irony in this, RCSolstice began his award winning blog (which is based on the novel Push by Sapphire) as a way to stroke his own ego and act as a sort of pro-choice, atheist Jehovah’s Witness, trawling Christian, pro-life and conservative tags for easy targets he could win arguments against and spread the cause of atheism (and not boost his ego at all), and refuse to go away despite repeated requests. It immediately became clear that RCSolstice was in fact, the chosen one, as scientifically predicted by Russell all those years before. 

He is so wise and enlightened by his intelligence, that he quotes himself. It’s not at all masturbatory. 

So Follow RCSolstice, the wisest man on tumblr, the chosen one. He is our Bravtheist of the week for a reason.

I rate his blog infinity sagans out of ten. 

rcsolstice:

euphoricatheist:

Today was my friend’s fathers funeral. I don’t like going to churches - ugh OPPRESSION WHY CANT I BUILD BUILDINGS FOR ATHEISM? BECAUSE OPPRESSIVE PLANNING PERMISSION - but I went anyway. Whilst there, I listened to my skeptoid podcasts, read friendlyatheist and ignored all the fundies because i have no respect for anything and a complete lack of social tact. 

UNTIL I HEARD SOMEONE CALL MY FRIENDS FATHER A CHRISTIAN. I sprang into action, my veins filled with anger and mountain dew. He’d never been to church in his life. I wasn’t going to have his name besmirched by pro-life fundie christians. I ran up to the front of the church, and shrieked Carl Sagan’s pale blue dot speech, which I have committed to memory -  before punching his grieving widow and shouting that there was No God. 

VICTORY FOR SAGAN.

So this is a blog dedicated to pushing negative atheist stereotypes? That’s cool, congrats on being an asshat. 

godlessmen:

Indoctrination

YEAH IT IS EXACTLY LIKE THIS FUNDIES.

END CULTURALLY UNIVERSAL PRACTISES THAT WILL NEVER END. THATS NOT A BATTLE WE CAN LOSE. 

Today was my friend’s fathers funeral. I don’t like going to churches - ugh OPPRESSION WHY CANT I BUILD BUILDINGS FOR ATHEISM? BECAUSE OPPRESSIVE PLANNING PERMISSION - but I went anyway. Whilst there, I listened to my skeptoid podcasts, read friendlyatheist and ignored all the fundies because i have no respect for anything and a complete lack of social tact. 

UNTIL I HEARD SOMEONE CALL MY FRIENDS FATHER A CHRISTIAN. I sprang into action, my veins filled with anger and mountain dew. He’d never been to church in his life. I wasn’t going to have his name besmirched by pro-life fundie christians. I ran up to the front of the church, and shrieked Carl Sagan’s pale blue dot speech, which I have committed to memory -  before punching his grieving widow and shouting that there was No God. 

VICTORY FOR SAGAN.

An atheist is someone who is certain that God does not exist, someone who has compelling evidence against the existence of God. I know of no such compelling evidence. Because God can be relegated to remote times and places and to ultimate causes, we would have to know a great deal more about the universe than we do now to be sure that no such God exists. To be certain of the existence of God and to be certain of the nonexistence of God seem to me to be the confident extremes in a subject so riddled with doubt and uncertainty as to inspire very little confidence indeed.

Carl Sagan on agnosticism (via wayts)

He’s wrong. An atheist is someone who lacks belief in god(s). And agnosticism isn’t a third option between theism and atheism.

(via andresc64)

FOLLOW THIS GUY, HE KNOWS MORE THAN CARL SAGAN

(via andresc64)

Hey that last post about atheism and hitler, what website is that?
euphoricatheist euphoricatheist Said:

image

whatdoestheinternetthink.net

It’s clearly run by fundies tho

(seriously it’s really innaccurate, I just think it’s funny).

UGH WE ARE SO OPPRESSED LESS POPULAR THAT HITLER LITERALLY OPPRESSION FROM FUNDIES UGH